| | I'm thinking about people and their personalities, and how every type of personality has its gifts and benefits, and its liabilities and annoyances. Some are obvious right when you meet someone--some take a long time to discover. It seems to me that often the more obvious and pronounced someone's gifts are, the more obvious and pronounced are their flaws. But the thing is, every personality type is a mixture of something you have, and something you don't have (by virtue of having that first thing). Just as an example, if you are loud and boisterous you are not quiet and reserved (not that you can't be each of those things at various times, but usually people are one thing more often, and what I'm getting at is that you can't be both at once). So if in an encounter you choose to be quiet and keep to yourself, you are missing out on the benefits and the liabilities of being very talkative and expressive. The reverse is also true: if you choose to be very talkative and expressive in an encounter you miss out on the benefits and liabilities of being quiet and reserved. Both have their sets of things that can be fun and enjoyable, and things that can be hard and annoying (at least in my estimation). One thing I come across that makes it tricky for me to know how to correctly and clearly view my own personality traits is that everyone seems to differently prioritize the benefits and the liabilities, and they will often make judgments on someone's personality traits based on their own assessment of what is the most valuable. So there are people who are like, "Those talkative people are self-centered attention whores; it is way better to be quiet and reserved." Then there are people who are like, "Those quiet people are boring and selfish and make everyone else do the work of engaging with them; it's way better to be talkative and engage people." I sometimes think in these judgmental ways about people's personality traits, but I guess I kind of wish I didn't. What I want is to see people (and have others see me) as having a certain personality, and accepting it, realizing that it comes with some good and some bad. And that sometimes maybe, the bad is a necessary offshoot of a quality that is often good. I guess this is my weird, vague, convoluted way of saying that when it happens that people don't like me, that doesn't necessarily say anything about me; and that I am trying to figure out what it means to accept and embrace my flaws as a part of me, while still also wanting to be open to God's transforming work in me. And I'm still working out whether it's possible to experience benefits of certain characteristics of mine, and not to experience the liabilities that come with it. Like, does it have to be both? For some reason I have a hunch that they go together, it just seems kind of fatalistic and like I'm not believing God is bigger than that or something. |
| | Posted 2/28/2008 9:00 PM - 273 Views - 10 eProps - 9 comments
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Whoa girl, you raise a lot of philosophical questions with this one. First, what you see as a negative about you, may be seen by another as a positive. And sometimes what is viewed as a negative can prove positive, while what we believe to be virtuous may well become a negative.
Relationships are like gift wrapped packages. It takes a lot of peeling away before we get to the treasure the box hides. I do believe we should treat relationships as a journey, not an arrival. It's the time we spend on the journey together that decides what comes out of us and when it comes out. There is one thing for sure, both good and bad will come out of each person in a relationship. It's how we deal with the good, bad, pretty and ugly that comes, that tells the story of relationship; will it prosper or will it die?
I'd like to leave you with one of my favorite pieces of Scripture: Luke 1: 73-75, "73the oath he swore to our father Abraham:
74to rescue us from the hand of our enemies,
and to enable us to serve him without fear
75in holiness and righteousness before him all our days.
God promises us He will enable us to serve without fear in holiness and righteousness. If God is the power source then the result will be good in the end. We are not promised that all things will be good, but if we are lovers of God He/She promises us He/She'll work it for good. God is at work in our relationships.
Good Stuff!
Lonnie